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THE SECRET TO THE PERFECT CUP OF TEA

Troy Stevens 13 July 2020

WHAT MAKES THE PERFECT CUP OF TEA?

One of the most important skills a tradesman can have in their arsenal, more important than the best tools on their belt, the newest van on their drive, or the best clobber on their back, is mastering the art of making a good cup of tea.

A good cup of tea can turn any situation in your favour, whether it’s calming down the gaffer, charming your next client, or nursing that unintended hangover, the key is knowing which type of brew is best for any situation the life of a tradesman throws at you.

We at Rhino Trade Insurance specialise in providing insurance for tradesmen large and small, but we also like to think that we offer a lot more than that. Case in point – the secret to a bl**dy good cup of tea.

See below the top 5 teas you’ll be asked to make on site:

perfect brew

 

THE ‘BUILDERS TEA’

What more can be said about a Builders Tea? It’s a classic. A bold drink. Perfect for the tradesperson who wants to grab their day by the horns and boss it into submission. The colour of the brick dust, dirt and grime that’s no doubt smeared across the face, or stuck under the fingernails, of whoever’s drinking it. A builders tea is earned. It is deserved.

How to make:
- Biggest mug you can find
- Tea bag (left in as long as possible)
- Boiling water (obviously)
- Milk (just a splash)
- Sugar (optional, but none of that ‘I’m sweet enough’ nonsense)

 

THE ‘WHITE AND WEAK’

A white and weak tea is a ludicrous thing to behold. If anyone asks for one of these then seriously rethink your association with them. If someone makes you one of these monstrosities, then we advise that you tell them to down tools and take a long hard look in the mirror.

How to make:
- Flimsy polystyrene cup (it’s all it deserves)
- Tea bag (don’t go bringing out the big guns, off brand will do fine)
- Boiling water (just a splash, don’t want the tea to have that much taste do we?)
- Milk (generous portion, think enough to drown a Weetabix)
- Sugar (probably has about 2)

 

THE ‘HERBAL’

Listen, I know this one sounds out there, but we’ve noticed more and more of you drinking herbal tea. You’ve tried to keep it hidden, but we’ve seen you. Doesn’t matter if you’re on site, at a client’s house, or in the comfort of your own living room, sometimes you just can’t kick that craving of camomile or hibiscus. With proven advantages for digestion, hangovers and even stress relief, don’t be embarrassed to get your infusion on and reach for the herbal.

How to make:
-Mug/Cup (if it holds hot water, you’re doing it right)
- Tea bag (Tetley’s alone do over 30 types of herbal tea, chances are you’ll find the flavour that’s right for you)
- Boiling water (this is key)
- Milk? (Don’t even think about it)

 

THE ‘BROUGHT MY OWN MILK’

This cup of tea is a modern addition to the tea maker’s repertoire of old. The ‘Brought My Own Milk’ is very similar to any other cup of tea, but comes with the added complication of having to use a particular sort of milk. We’ve all heard it, that one person that comes out with ‘my other half has made me go vegan’, who selfishly forces you to navigate a carton of almond or soya milk, complicating an already complex process.

How to make:
- Mug (this is pretty standard)
- Tea bag (make it a strong one)
- Boiling water (if you still need reminding of this then you probably shouldn’t be offering to make teas)
- DEFINITELY NOT MILK (under no circumstances put milk of the cow/goat/any living creature into this cup of tea, if you do go straight to jail, do not pass go, and don’t even think about collecting £200)
- Almond Milk, Oat Milk, Soya Milk (as appropriate)
- Sugar (may as well)

 

THE ‘4 SUGARS PLEASE’

When making a ‘4 Sugars Please’ you stray perilously close to making something closer resembling a cake mixture than you are a cup of tea. Anyone who asks for any more than 2 sugars in their brew is living life so dangerously that you should probably strap a harness on if they’re holding your ladder.

How to make:
- Mug/Cup/Bowl (why not?)
- Tea bag (basically irrelevant to overall taste of drink)
- Boiling water (leave plenty of room)
- Milk (these people usually love a lot of milk too)
- Sugar (clue’s in the name)

 

Think you know best? Feel free to send us a photo of your perfect cup of tea. If we like the look of it then we might just feature your tea on Twitter later in the week. Your tea would be famous, imagine that?!


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